I missed a day yesterday. I wasn't feeling it and I couldn't get myself there mentally to force myself to write something. I just wanted to sleep and forget the world. (I ended up playing Call of Duty with some friends to drown out the world instead lol). But today, I am back and the script is a good start to something that could be good eventually. A first draft is a first draft after all.
I used to hate running. To be honest I don't even know if I necessarily like it now after getting better at it these last few months. What I will say that there is a power in running. Every time I go out and manage to get one in I always feel better than I did before. But, what I do think is great about running is that it can be the physical embodiment of what someone needs mentally or spiritually.
Running, in a sense, is taking action and taking action is one of the most vital things we can do when we are low. It is so hard sometimes to even want to try to push ourselves out of a low state. I know I can lack a huge amount of motivation to do anything when I am feeling sad or overwhelmed with a situation. But, when I am able to take action to combat this; whether it be saying a prayer, trying to do an act of service or even just going for a run, I always feel better and more centred after it. Not perfect but definitely better.
My story today is trying in a way to share this feeling. That we can go through periods where we want to do nothing but escape. We play playstation or whatever to get away from our problems and as a result we end up just feeling more crap. Also, how we all have these inner dialogues with the part of ourselves that wants us to be more positive. At the moment I am constantly talking to myself in my head, reflecting as I say and do things. I guess I wanted to show that also in someone who is struggling with their own happiness but, also having these internal thoughts and battles is part of running. When things get painful or we don't feel like we can't run anymore the voice in our head either tells us to stop or not give up. The same I guess is true with life and that, I think, is what I am trying to say. Life will give us pain and we will have these internal thoughts that might conflict with our actions and what we say. That there is a constant battle between taking action to change how we feel and allowing it to take over and beat us down.
I don't know. I wrote without too much planning and I do miss the structure of mapping out a story before you start to write the script. Knowing who the character is, what their wants/needs are is very useful for me when I write. I don't know who the voice is in this story. Most of the time whilst I was writing this I thought it might be funny if it was the cat... All I knew is that they loved Jack and didn't want to kill him. That line also,"If I asked you to kill me, would you?" was one I thought could be inspiration enough for a stand alone story or script but felt might fit in as I was writing. You can see that without this element of structure I do feel I am getting much more lost than I would like and this can also influence what I want to say here. I am not sure if what I have written in the previous paragraphs make much sense even.
Moving forward, to stay on track for this challenge I know I need to write two scripts in one day. As I said, I missed yesterday (23rd May 20) and I can't really afford to do that again. So far we have eight scripts and that is a really nice feeling. Writing and telling stories is such a wonderful thing to do and I really hope I can begin to master it in the coming years. I want to be able to make films or plays that really tell stories that do something, that go beyond mere entertainment. I want them to become an arena for service to humanity in their own way. Maybe I am just a naive dreamer. Maybe, I am wrong to have hope for reconciliation and a bright future full of happiness and service. Who knows. But what I do know is that I must take action.
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